Ahh, what is food?
Just sit there for a moment and ponder that question. Because I can guarantee the longer you think about your answer, the more complicated it grows.
On my Dad's side of the family, food was Southern. My Midwest farmer's daughter Grandma grew up and married a Southern guy who had to have his food fried.
She quickly learned how to fry just about anything in a large, seasoned cast iron skillet. Chicken, okra, fish, hush puppies, etc.
When we would go a visiting, which was a few times a year, there was always food.
Food frying in the cast iron skillet.
Food laid out on the table.
Tons of snacks in the fridge or the pantry cupboard.
And once dinner was called, you better fill up your plate quickly or there wasn't going to be anything left.
Food was socializing. It was visiting cousins and grandparents. It was being fed treats you never got at home. And food meant eating doughnuts in the early morning hours with Grandma, as she cradled a hot mug of coffee, sitting in her bathrobe, and chatting with her oldest granddaughter, alone and in a quiet kitchen.
Food in my house is quickly becoming a dangerous territory. A problem. A bleeding ground for stress and resentment. All the things I never wanted it to be.
When Bean and Abu were six and four, we found out they both suffered from celiac disease. As far as diseases goes, it holds very little power over it's victim, unless you don't eat gluten free. And that's where it wields it's power.
Our lives changed in one phone call. I put both girls on a gluten free diet and they grew an inch or more in just a couple of weeks. Suddenly, their skin was glowing and we weren't having anymore stomach aches.
But it's been a tough road. Especially living in a little ole' town that's twenty years behind the big cities. Especially when not all family members were on board with the changes and it felt like a fight every time we had to meet for dinner or snacks or even just visiting.
To understand the gluten free living, let me go over a few points.
1. Even a few crumbs of gluten can effect a person. This makes food a nemesis. Cooking a battlefield. We use separate toasters for gluten and non gluten items. Wooden spoons are just for gluten free items. I don't bake gluten items because the dust would linger in the air.
Packages have to read, ingredients scrutinized and companies called. It's a pain in the rear end. Joy in food can easily be destroyed.
2. Eating out can be a nightmare. There are places you just simply can't eat. It's not safe. And unfortunately, not everyone in your life is going to understand that. When you tell them your children can't eat at a certain restaurant, it's not because your kids are being picky. They just can't find something. Sometimes, there is nothing to be found. So when I say, there are seven places in town they can eat at...I'm not just saying that.
3. Family get togethers are not going to be the same unless there is an understanding of the gluten free requirement. My sister has food allergies and my nieces might have peanut allergies. So when we're planning family food feasts on my side of the family, my girls know they are going to have food to eat. It's not going to be a guessing game, or a disappointment that they're left with carrots sticks to munch on, or that someone will make a fabulous dessert and forget to mention it's not gluten free until it's being served.
With that being said, I always try to forge communication with the hostess and I'm quite happy to bring a gluten free dessert along for my girls. It's never a problem. I will bring my girls entire meals if I have to. I just have to know what the plans are and that is where communication breaks down because either people don't understand or don't care to understand that when you HAVE to be gluten free, it means you can't cheat.
Friends that make sure you know the menu so you can bring food or they make sure something is gluten free are such blessings.
4. There are people that will make your children feel like they're being picky eaters. Other children at school don't often understand why my girls have to pass on the birthday cupcake or why they can't trade food during lunch.
5. Communication is the key. At school, I make sure teachers, the principal, and the nurse know about their food needs. That way, when there is a pizza party planned or other special events, I get a phone call and I know when I need to supply a gluten free pizza or dessert.
So Bean is having trouble with being gluten free. She's going through a phase of denial. Which I suppose is normal, especially at her age. Especially with going to middle school and the promised gluten free lunches turned into a baked potato and some fruit every meal.
She's tired of going to a restaurant and there are two items on the menu she can have. She's tired of gluten free doughnuts tasting like dry, crumby pieces of cardboard.
She's just tired of being gluten free in a gluten world. Of course, I made it worse by trying to point out to her that in the scope of things that can be wrong, being gluten free is not such a big deal.
Wrong thing to say to a preteen.
So I'm going to be patient instead. I'm going to emphasis the good things about the food in our house. Find the good stories that go with our meals.
Buying tons of gluten free snacks for her slumber party, making dinners together and building that love of food. Focusing on what we can have, since the list is actually so much longer than what we can't have and just trying to ride out this preteen storm.
I just want her to have good memories of food when she's grown and has her own children. And for her to realize that Mom will always have some gluten free in the house, even after she's grown.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Identity Crisis...for my iPod?
It's the existential question. Who am I? What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? Such deep and thoughtful questions, pondered by everyone at some point in their life.
Sometimes a few times a day depending on what your job you're in.
But I digress. Because this blog isn't about me. It's about my iPod.
For you see, my iPod is having a major meltdown. A complete breakdown. An identity crisis of the extreme sort.
It thinks it's a digital camera.
Not a beloved electronic device of all my music. Not the bringer of the beat and rhythms of the soul.
No, it has to believe it's a digital camera.
And it's telling my PC this revelation. So, now it has my PC believing it's a digital camera and not a device of music.
I didn't know my PC was so gullible. So prone to falling for anything some little electronic device decided to tell it. How disappointing. It must have been the flashy silver cover distracting it.
I'm not sure when my iPod contemplated the meaning of the universe and decided it was so much more than a storage device. When it decided that it's grainy and not so great resolution photos qualified it as a camera but apparently it did and there's no convincing it otherwise.
I plug the iPod into my computer, where it's supposed to sync my music up. But instead it erased most of my songs, leaving just the ones I had downloaded straight from iTunes. I'm missing 1400 songs--only some of my favorites---nothing frustrating there.
But to top it off, when I plugged it in a second time to try to figure out what was going on, it loaded all my music from iTunes a second time onto itself. So now, my songs are on there twice. I can listen to all my music...twice...without hitting the repeat button. How clever of it to do that.
So now it doesn't know what it wants to be. It's telling the computer it's a digital camera, there are no songs available if I try to access the device through my PC. But if I listen to my music, it's so nice to me and gives me everything in doubles.
I just want it to go back to the way things use to be. Where I downloaded music onto my iPod and it stayed. Where I would synced it up with my computer and it would be pleasant and cooperate, not try to be something it's not. And it wouldn't try to think on it's own and tell me I need to listen to my songs twice in a row.
Oh, how I miss those carefree and easy days when my iPod was just an iPod and it wasn't having an identity crisis.
So if my computer guru is having trouble fixing my iPod, does that mean I need to take it to a psychologist? Perhaps it's childhood issues from when it was just a little Nano?
Or perhaps my iPod has turned into a teenager. Which means I should just give up now, because a teenager is never wrong and knows everything.
Does Apple have a help line for iPod's and their identity crisis?
Or is this a case, and here's my inner geek showing, Number 5 is ALIVE?
Perhaps records were so much easier after all. :-)
Sometimes a few times a day depending on what your job you're in.
But I digress. Because this blog isn't about me. It's about my iPod.
For you see, my iPod is having a major meltdown. A complete breakdown. An identity crisis of the extreme sort.
It thinks it's a digital camera.
Not a beloved electronic device of all my music. Not the bringer of the beat and rhythms of the soul.
No, it has to believe it's a digital camera.
And it's telling my PC this revelation. So, now it has my PC believing it's a digital camera and not a device of music.
I didn't know my PC was so gullible. So prone to falling for anything some little electronic device decided to tell it. How disappointing. It must have been the flashy silver cover distracting it.
I'm not sure when my iPod contemplated the meaning of the universe and decided it was so much more than a storage device. When it decided that it's grainy and not so great resolution photos qualified it as a camera but apparently it did and there's no convincing it otherwise.
I plug the iPod into my computer, where it's supposed to sync my music up. But instead it erased most of my songs, leaving just the ones I had downloaded straight from iTunes. I'm missing 1400 songs--only some of my favorites---nothing frustrating there.
But to top it off, when I plugged it in a second time to try to figure out what was going on, it loaded all my music from iTunes a second time onto itself. So now, my songs are on there twice. I can listen to all my music...twice...without hitting the repeat button. How clever of it to do that.
So now it doesn't know what it wants to be. It's telling the computer it's a digital camera, there are no songs available if I try to access the device through my PC. But if I listen to my music, it's so nice to me and gives me everything in doubles.
I just want it to go back to the way things use to be. Where I downloaded music onto my iPod and it stayed. Where I would synced it up with my computer and it would be pleasant and cooperate, not try to be something it's not. And it wouldn't try to think on it's own and tell me I need to listen to my songs twice in a row.
Oh, how I miss those carefree and easy days when my iPod was just an iPod and it wasn't having an identity crisis.
So if my computer guru is having trouble fixing my iPod, does that mean I need to take it to a psychologist? Perhaps it's childhood issues from when it was just a little Nano?
Or perhaps my iPod has turned into a teenager. Which means I should just give up now, because a teenager is never wrong and knows everything.
Does Apple have a help line for iPod's and their identity crisis?
Or is this a case, and here's my inner geek showing, Number 5 is ALIVE?
Perhaps records were so much easier after all. :-)
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Life Lessons from the Motherhood
Lesson One: Eating your Mother's Day Breakfast
Okay, lets face it. Breakfast in bed is an awesome gesture, even though you have to spend half an hour shaking the sheets of breadcrumbs afterwards. But if your child is under the age of teenage than you're not getting a gourmet meal. My last meal consisted of a piece of toast piled high with the contents of my fridge on it. Apples, cut with a butter knife. Strawberries, a little bit on the mushy side because they washed those suckers good. And peanut butter, jelly, honey, cinnamon. I'm probably lucky there wasn't ketchup on top.
They, the small children that allow you to celebrate this holiday called Mother's Day, wake you up after allowing you an extra five minutes of sleep and hand you this plate of food. Then they anxiously wait for you to eat it. Their little faces all grins and smiles and joy.
And how can you not eat it?
Simple trick #1: Nibble on what looks safe to consume. Just don't spit it out when they calmly tell you it's the part that fell on the floor and the dog licked it but they washed it off.
Simple trick #2: After eating a few bites, keep them talking. Thank them for the lovely gesture, because heck, these little people adore you, take a moment to savor it. But keep them talking. Eventually, they will run off to play and you can safety dispose of the rest of your meal without hurting their feelings.
Lesson Two: Enjoy your Day of Leisure
Ahh, wouldn't it be nice to sit back on this holiday, put our feet up and read a book without interruption? I vaguely recall those days. I remember the Mother's Day a couple of weeks before Bean was born, I was huge. Imagine the marshmallow monster on Ghostbusters, yeah, that could have been me.
My ankles were swollen like balloons, my face was rounded with too much of Ben and Jerry's ice cream (think sixty or seventy pounds of pregnancy weight) and I was experiencing that feeling of being done. I'm ready for my baby, can I have my body back now?
Hero Hottie took me out to breakfast that morning and the waitress gave me a free dessert, a strawberry shortcake, for Mother's Day. Suddenly, I had been given admittance to this special holiday. Yes, a holiday where I get pampered, and I don't have to do anything.
Ahh, it was a lovely day dream. Because once you have kids, you realize that there are no more days off for you....EVER. A weekend? What's that? It's just a day that's a bit quieter than the week...MAYBE. But suddenly you're responsible for at least three meals a day...SEVEN DAYS a week. Laundry? You want to take a break from laundry? Not a good idea. Laundry starts to develop into a life form of it's own if left more than a day or two.
And changing diapers. Yep, those happen on Mother's Day too. Even the really smelly poopy ones that take an hour of clean up time for you and the Baby.
And when the kids grow old enough to volunteer to take over the chores, so you don't have to do anything. Well, lets just say their standards aren't quite at the same level as yours.
Simple Trick #1: Enjoy the day anyway. You're a Mother and it's awesome to have a day when your children give you cards that are simply decorated with their hand prints. I know, you see plenty of those on the walls and the windows everyday. But when you're older and your Bean is turning into a young woman, than looking back at those tiny hand prints...well, it causes your heart to burst with all sort of emotion.
Simple Trick #2: Clean the house the day before, plan easy meals, and do something fun with your kids. And if they promise you an uninterrupted bubble bath...DON'T believe them. That just means they hold off for ten minutes instead of five before they're pounding on the door and asking you if you're enjoying your uninterrupted bubble bath.
Lesson Three: Appreciation
Ahh, it's that moment when you realize, as your four year old and your two year old, hand you a bouquet of dandelions from the yard, with grubby, chubby little fingers and grins that are the sweetness expressions you have ever seen...that being a MOTHER is AWESOME!
There isn't a job, or a talk, or a book that can prepare you for this task of raising another human being. There should be something though.
A book that warns you of the effects of sleepless nights because Baby Blueberry is teething. Think sleepwalking at this point.
A talk given on how to balance the needs of more than one kid. Because one size does not fit all. And once you realize that sayings applies to everything, from the way you discipline, to the way you help with homework, to the activities that they like to do, life will be so much easier.
Now LOVE, that should be the same. Kiss them and hug them and love them in the same amounts, even when you have a Bean. Who likes to test boundaries and the word NO. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Because at the end of the day, she still needs a hug and a kiss and a reassurance that no matter what you still love her.
Simple Trick #1: Sometimes a day can be overwhelming. The worst moments of parenting for me were the potty training moments. I didn't do well with potty training. And I'm not even sure why. A lack of patience on my part, hating the power struggles that can occur, frustration over accidents in public places. But I know I don't do well with this task...so with Baby Blueberry I'm going to step back and not worry so much. Obviously, your kid eventually moves from diapers to using the toilet....and then they have entered big kid territory and they have grown that much more.
So I can't say I will enjoy potty training any more this time than with Bean and Abu, but I won't allow it to frustrate me so bad that I miss all the other great things going on during that stage of development.
Don't concentrate on the crappy moments in parenting, you'll miss the good stuff.
Simple Trick #2: Appreciate the woman in your life that mothered you. Sometimes this isn't your biological mom but someone that fulfilled that role.
Now, you can understand why they were always cleaning (think YOU) and why they drank four cups of coffee in the morning (think YOU again) and why you never ask them "What's for dinner and when it is?" unless you were ready to see steam coming from their ears. Now, I understand why. After three meals a day, seven days a week...the question gets old.
"Food. You get FOOD. What else do you think I would be feeding you? And if you tell me that the new chicken dish was not food, than you're grounded."
This week I couldn't decide on a gift for my Mom. So I spoiled her with a week of Mother's Day. The first day was a bouquet of flowers (not dandelions), second day was a caramel roll, third day was candy bars, fourth day was potted plants, today will be a small, cute garden ornament, and tomorrow will be a picture of the grandchildren. Nothing fancy, but just small tokens of appreciation.
So this motherhood thing isn't easy. It's causes sleep deprivation, loss of patience, bouts of meltdowns that aren't from the kids, boredom from doing endless loads of laundry and cooking thousands of meals, and feelings of inadequacy.
But I tell you what....every card with their handprint on it or simple poem written in it, every baby grin, every dandelion bouquet, and every Mother's Day breakfast, is the BEST.
Every new development, from their first crawls to their first dances, is a reason to celebrate.
My children bring me endless joy and so tomorrow when they bring me breakfast in bed (I cheated a bit, I bought cinnamon rolls for them to serve) and they hug me and give me their gifts, which are usually handmade and oh, so precious. I will be giving thanks in my heart.
Happy Mother's Day!!!
Okay, lets face it. Breakfast in bed is an awesome gesture, even though you have to spend half an hour shaking the sheets of breadcrumbs afterwards. But if your child is under the age of teenage than you're not getting a gourmet meal. My last meal consisted of a piece of toast piled high with the contents of my fridge on it. Apples, cut with a butter knife. Strawberries, a little bit on the mushy side because they washed those suckers good. And peanut butter, jelly, honey, cinnamon. I'm probably lucky there wasn't ketchup on top.
They, the small children that allow you to celebrate this holiday called Mother's Day, wake you up after allowing you an extra five minutes of sleep and hand you this plate of food. Then they anxiously wait for you to eat it. Their little faces all grins and smiles and joy.
And how can you not eat it?
Simple trick #1: Nibble on what looks safe to consume. Just don't spit it out when they calmly tell you it's the part that fell on the floor and the dog licked it but they washed it off.
Simple trick #2: After eating a few bites, keep them talking. Thank them for the lovely gesture, because heck, these little people adore you, take a moment to savor it. But keep them talking. Eventually, they will run off to play and you can safety dispose of the rest of your meal without hurting their feelings.
Lesson Two: Enjoy your Day of Leisure
Ahh, wouldn't it be nice to sit back on this holiday, put our feet up and read a book without interruption? I vaguely recall those days. I remember the Mother's Day a couple of weeks before Bean was born, I was huge. Imagine the marshmallow monster on Ghostbusters, yeah, that could have been me.
My ankles were swollen like balloons, my face was rounded with too much of Ben and Jerry's ice cream (think sixty or seventy pounds of pregnancy weight) and I was experiencing that feeling of being done. I'm ready for my baby, can I have my body back now?
Hero Hottie took me out to breakfast that morning and the waitress gave me a free dessert, a strawberry shortcake, for Mother's Day. Suddenly, I had been given admittance to this special holiday. Yes, a holiday where I get pampered, and I don't have to do anything.
Ahh, it was a lovely day dream. Because once you have kids, you realize that there are no more days off for you....EVER. A weekend? What's that? It's just a day that's a bit quieter than the week...MAYBE. But suddenly you're responsible for at least three meals a day...SEVEN DAYS a week. Laundry? You want to take a break from laundry? Not a good idea. Laundry starts to develop into a life form of it's own if left more than a day or two.
And changing diapers. Yep, those happen on Mother's Day too. Even the really smelly poopy ones that take an hour of clean up time for you and the Baby.
And when the kids grow old enough to volunteer to take over the chores, so you don't have to do anything. Well, lets just say their standards aren't quite at the same level as yours.
Simple Trick #1: Enjoy the day anyway. You're a Mother and it's awesome to have a day when your children give you cards that are simply decorated with their hand prints. I know, you see plenty of those on the walls and the windows everyday. But when you're older and your Bean is turning into a young woman, than looking back at those tiny hand prints...well, it causes your heart to burst with all sort of emotion.
Simple Trick #2: Clean the house the day before, plan easy meals, and do something fun with your kids. And if they promise you an uninterrupted bubble bath...DON'T believe them. That just means they hold off for ten minutes instead of five before they're pounding on the door and asking you if you're enjoying your uninterrupted bubble bath.
Lesson Three: Appreciation
Ahh, it's that moment when you realize, as your four year old and your two year old, hand you a bouquet of dandelions from the yard, with grubby, chubby little fingers and grins that are the sweetness expressions you have ever seen...that being a MOTHER is AWESOME!
There isn't a job, or a talk, or a book that can prepare you for this task of raising another human being. There should be something though.
A book that warns you of the effects of sleepless nights because Baby Blueberry is teething. Think sleepwalking at this point.
A talk given on how to balance the needs of more than one kid. Because one size does not fit all. And once you realize that sayings applies to everything, from the way you discipline, to the way you help with homework, to the activities that they like to do, life will be so much easier.
Now LOVE, that should be the same. Kiss them and hug them and love them in the same amounts, even when you have a Bean. Who likes to test boundaries and the word NO. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Because at the end of the day, she still needs a hug and a kiss and a reassurance that no matter what you still love her.
Simple Trick #1: Sometimes a day can be overwhelming. The worst moments of parenting for me were the potty training moments. I didn't do well with potty training. And I'm not even sure why. A lack of patience on my part, hating the power struggles that can occur, frustration over accidents in public places. But I know I don't do well with this task...so with Baby Blueberry I'm going to step back and not worry so much. Obviously, your kid eventually moves from diapers to using the toilet....and then they have entered big kid territory and they have grown that much more.
So I can't say I will enjoy potty training any more this time than with Bean and Abu, but I won't allow it to frustrate me so bad that I miss all the other great things going on during that stage of development.
Don't concentrate on the crappy moments in parenting, you'll miss the good stuff.
Simple Trick #2: Appreciate the woman in your life that mothered you. Sometimes this isn't your biological mom but someone that fulfilled that role.
Now, you can understand why they were always cleaning (think YOU) and why they drank four cups of coffee in the morning (think YOU again) and why you never ask them "What's for dinner and when it is?" unless you were ready to see steam coming from their ears. Now, I understand why. After three meals a day, seven days a week...the question gets old.
"Food. You get FOOD. What else do you think I would be feeding you? And if you tell me that the new chicken dish was not food, than you're grounded."
This week I couldn't decide on a gift for my Mom. So I spoiled her with a week of Mother's Day. The first day was a bouquet of flowers (not dandelions), second day was a caramel roll, third day was candy bars, fourth day was potted plants, today will be a small, cute garden ornament, and tomorrow will be a picture of the grandchildren. Nothing fancy, but just small tokens of appreciation.
So this motherhood thing isn't easy. It's causes sleep deprivation, loss of patience, bouts of meltdowns that aren't from the kids, boredom from doing endless loads of laundry and cooking thousands of meals, and feelings of inadequacy.
But I tell you what....every card with their handprint on it or simple poem written in it, every baby grin, every dandelion bouquet, and every Mother's Day breakfast, is the BEST.
Every new development, from their first crawls to their first dances, is a reason to celebrate.
My children bring me endless joy and so tomorrow when they bring me breakfast in bed (I cheated a bit, I bought cinnamon rolls for them to serve) and they hug me and give me their gifts, which are usually handmade and oh, so precious. I will be giving thanks in my heart.
Happy Mother's Day!!!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Letters Drawn in the Sand
ONCE upon a time I didn't understand music. I heard it. The sounds would fill my ears and the beat would run through my veins. Clumsy and more prone to tripping over my feet than walking in grace, I would still dance.
Dance because angels sing. Because heaven rejoices with music.
We teach our BABIES simple songs because they delight in it. Our voices can be rough and scratchy and they will find grace. And dance. And delight. And smile.
Hero Hottie taught me art. He taught me to LISTEN. To dissect the lyrics. He taught me to CHALLENGE the words that filled my ears and DECIPHER their meanings.
Because how can you say what you STAND FOR if you haven't LISTENED to the WORDS?
All words have MEANINGS. Some more than one. Some words are like double edged swords, the wound goes deep.
Some words come with a smile. With a dance. With GRACE.
With TRUTH.
And some words linger in your babies' hearts, darkening the edges, destroying their sense of grace. Silencing their dance.
Abu has had to deal with words of that nature this year. Words that made fun of her brand new baby sister, words that made her doubt her sense of style, words that made her doubt her importance in the world. I have spent months BUILDING back up her confidence.
Bean has had to deal with words that she shouldn't had shared, because sometimes words are to be kept like TREASURES. Words shared between friends where they are supposed to be kept safe and secure and nourished. She will be more careful in the future when given such PRECIOUS items.
She has had also had to deal with words that made her feel not good enough...no matter what she did. These words have caused her to be angry and now I have to find the words to help her deal with that pain without allowing the ANGRY words to eat her soul.
Words can FEED the soul. Nourish the SPIRIT. I have discovered that this year by developing some AWESOME friendships.
They have shown me how words between friends can BLOSSOM in the soul like a flower bed gone wild with blooms and butterflies and JOY.
Now I can't imagine a world without the WORDS from my friends.
If only we had a filter over our ears, so that we only heard the good stuff. So that we never bring into our adulthood ideas caused by constant HATEFUL words. How my heart cries for a small child who feels like they are a horrible person because they weren't fed NOURISHING words.
So if I PRAY often for the RIGHT words, it's because I know what the wrong word will do. And since I never know for sure if I'm saying the right word to my children, to my spouse, to my family, it's a familiar prayer.
I pray because I understand the power of a NOURISHING word...
JOY. FAITH. GRACE. HOPE. LOVE.
To all my readers: I hope you hear the nourishing words you need today to feed your soul. And I hope you find the same treasured words to pass on...with joy, hope, and grace.
And maybe a good song with the right kind of words to sing along to.
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