It's a Gluten Free Life

    Ahh, what is food?
 
   Just sit there for a moment and ponder that question. Because I can guarantee the longer you think about your answer, the more complicated it grows.
   On my Dad's side of the family, food was Southern. My Midwest farmer's daughter Grandma grew up and married a Southern guy who had to have his food fried.
    She quickly learned how to fry just about anything in a large, seasoned cast iron skillet. Chicken, okra, fish, hush puppies, etc.
    When we would go a visiting, which was a few times a year, there was always food.
     Food frying in the cast iron skillet.
     Food laid out on the table.
     Tons of snacks in the fridge or the pantry cupboard.
    And once dinner was called, you better fill up your plate quickly or there wasn't going to be anything left.
    Food was socializing. It was visiting cousins and grandparents. It was being fed treats you never got at home. And food meant eating doughnuts in the early morning hours with Grandma, as she cradled a hot mug of coffee, sitting in her bathrobe, and chatting with her oldest granddaughter, alone and in a quiet kitchen.

     Food in my house is quickly becoming a dangerous territory. A problem. A bleeding ground for stress and resentment. All the things I never wanted it to be.

    When Bean and Abu were six and four, we found out they both suffered from celiac disease. As far as diseases goes, it holds very little power over it's victim, unless you don't eat gluten free. And that's where it wields it's power.

     Our lives changed in one phone call. I put both girls on a gluten free diet and they grew an inch or more in just a couple of weeks. Suddenly, their skin was glowing and we weren't having anymore stomach aches.
      But it's been a tough road. Especially living in a little ole' town that's twenty years behind the big cities. Especially when not all family members were on board with the changes and it felt like a fight every time we had to meet for dinner or snacks or even just visiting.

     To understand the gluten free living, let me go over a few points.
     1. Even a few crumbs of gluten can effect a person. This makes food a nemesis. Cooking a battlefield. We use separate toasters for gluten and non gluten items. Wooden spoons are just for gluten free items. I don't bake gluten items because the dust would linger in the air.
        Packages have to read, ingredients scrutinized and companies called. It's a pain in the rear end. Joy in food can easily be destroyed.

   2. Eating out can be a nightmare. There are places you just simply can't eat. It's not safe. And unfortunately, not everyone in your life is going to understand that. When you tell them your children can't eat at a certain restaurant, it's not because your kids are being picky. They just can't find something. Sometimes, there is nothing to be found. So when I say, there are seven places in town they can eat at...I'm not just saying that.

    3. Family get togethers are not going to be the same unless there is an understanding of the gluten free requirement. My sister has food allergies and my nieces might have peanut allergies. So when we're planning family food feasts on my side of the family, my girls know they are going to have food to eat. It's not going to be a guessing game, or a disappointment that they're left with carrots sticks to munch on, or that someone will make a fabulous dessert and forget to mention it's not gluten free until it's being served.
     With that being said, I always try to forge communication with the hostess and I'm quite happy to bring a gluten free dessert along for my girls. It's never a problem. I will bring my girls entire meals if I have to. I just have to know what the plans are and that is where communication breaks down because either people don't understand or don't care to understand that when you HAVE to be gluten free, it means you can't cheat.
      Friends that make sure you know the menu so you can bring food or they make sure something is gluten free are such blessings.

   4. There are people that will make your children feel like they're being picky eaters.  Other children at school don't often understand why my girls have to pass on the birthday cupcake or why they can't trade food during lunch.

   5. Communication is the key. At school, I make sure teachers, the principal, and the nurse know about their food needs. That way, when there is a pizza party planned or other special events, I get a phone call and I know when I need to supply a gluten free pizza or dessert.

   So Bean is having trouble with being gluten free. She's going through a phase of denial. Which I suppose is normal, especially at her age. Especially with going to middle school and the promised gluten free lunches turned into a baked potato and some fruit every meal.
   She's tired of going to a restaurant and there are two items on the menu she can have. She's tired of gluten free doughnuts tasting like dry, crumby pieces of cardboard.

   She's just tired of being gluten free in a gluten world. Of course, I made it worse by trying to point out to her that in the scope of things that can be wrong, being gluten free is not such a big deal.
    Wrong thing to say to a preteen.
    So I'm going to be patient instead. I'm going to emphasis the good things about the food in our house. Find the good stories that go with our meals.
   Buying tons of gluten free snacks for her slumber party, making dinners together and building that love of food. Focusing on what we can have, since the list is actually so much longer than what we can't have and just trying to ride out this preteen storm.

   I just want her to have good memories of food when she's grown and has her own children. And for her to realize that Mom will always have some gluten free in the house, even after she's grown.