I'm obviously grateful for my family, friends and life. And I have so many good things that I could write about them that it would take me all day but if I did that I wouldn't get my pies made and then everyone would be mad at me. Maybe not mad, but highly disappointed since around here the favorite part of the meal is not the turkey but pies. Pumpkin, pecan, apple, etc.
So I'm writing about other things I'm grateful for...
1. I'm glad that Congress has basically decided that pizza is now considered a veggie on the school lunch menu. Eat that Tony Horton. Now I can do P90X and still eat tons of pizza simply because it has tomato sauce on it. I'm sure kids everywhere appreciate the 'wisdom' of our leaders who have declared that pizza, with it highly refined and processed white flour crust and pounds of greasy cheese can pass as a veggie because it has a few tablespoons of tomato sauce.
Of course, I thought tomato was considered a fruit? So I did a little research, in technical botanical speak a tomato fits the definition of fruit. But under a ruling of the Supreme Court of the United States back in the 1880's, the tomato was legally defined as a veggie so it could be taxed. I think the ruling goes deeper than that, obviously the judges were setting it up, so later pizza could be counted as a vegetable.
Conspiracy or not, I'm just grateful that I don't have to think about the heavy carbs in a pizza because it's now a vegetable.
2. A study done by a University of Notre Dame Psychology Professor has shown that walking through doorways causes us to forget things. Apparently we are messing up our internal filing system in our brain when we take a step through a doorway and thus forgetting.
Wow. I'm thinking this guy walked through too many doors.
Do I believe this? No, because with how many times I walk between the living room and the kitchen if that was true I wouldn't be able to remember my name by now...what a minute, some days when all the kids are puking, dinner is burning and I can't find my sanity maybe it's not from stress...perhaps it's from walking through the doorway too many times. So next time I can't remember who I am, I will try to remember to be grateful to this guy because I now have something to blame forgetfulness on.
3. I'm thankful for the 'people of Walmart' who remind me why it's important to look our best when we leave the house. Wearing pajamas, spaghetti strap tank tops, and slippers to go shopping is definitely bending the no shirt, no shoe rule. Where is your self respect, man? At least put a robe on.
I know celebrities are 'allowed' to go around the town letting everything hang out but they're just pitiful. If you're so desperate for attention that you're going to 'forget' to wear clothes then you need either a hobby, a dog, or something.
Please shoppers, our 'roll back' prices are for customers that bothered to get ready this morning. Of course, we know that isn't going to happen. They would lose too much business.
4. I'm so glad that the zombies didn't take over my town this year. With all the Zombie Apocalypse warnings I was pretty sure that by the time Thanksgiving rolled around we wouldn't be eating turkey, we would be decked out in fatigues, armed with butchers knives and watching our neighbors' brains being snacked on by the shoppers of Walmart. I was expecting B-rated movie music in the background while we ran for our lives from the slow moving, dumb acting, grunting and moaning zombies.
Then we would find an amusement park that was still operational and have as many free rides with no waiting in lines until the zombie mobs found us and we have to work together to kill all of them. And hopefully find some Twinkles at the end. Either way I would ride off into the sunset with hero hottie, ready to kill more zombies.
On second thought, I'm glad the only zombies I ran into were at Safeway last night trying to run each other over with their carts as they waited in long lines with their last minute items. What is it with people waiting until the last minute to buy their groceries? Uhh, that's not why I was there....
5. I'm grateful for vampires that sparkle in the sunlight because they're too easy to make fun of and I'm not sure what I'm going to make fun of next year when Twilight finally fades away. And I'm grateful for werewolves that fight vampires without their shirts on. Really, does no one know how cold and chilly the Pacific Northwest can be? We're not talking beach weather, people. Of course, if any fictional character wants to run around without their shirt on, then I'm voting for Captain America.
So here's my list of things I'm thankful for this holiday season...oh, that and hero hottie, who wishes sometimes that I wouldn't blog about him...but lets me do it anyways. :)
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
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