being human

         I'm sure my readers were starting to wonder if I had drowned since I missed buying tickets for the sanity boat. Nope. I'm still here, in all my flaws, faults, passions, joys, worries, and sarcasm.
   
         Being Human, the idea of it not the television show (which I haven't seen) is intrinsically flawed. It has to be. I refuse to think that life is supposed to be so full of suffering, grief, heartache, and evil. Perhaps I'm an idealistic sort of person. I believe      used to believe that most people were inanely good deep on the inside and through the trials and tribulations of life were turned to the 'dark side.' It happened to Anakin Skywalker, why not the rest of us? Yes, I know we're talking fictional characters here but we relate to characters in fiction.

         It's much easier to relate to a make believe character than real people.

        But perhaps some people are just evil. Perhaps a good heart doesn't lurk beneath the surface of their greed, selfishness, violence, and perchance to hurt other humans. Like the Grinch their hearts were two sizes too small but unlike the Grinch they never found their way home. And when you can't find your way home, you're lost. And just to clarify things I'm not talking about the home of our childhoods, I'm talking about a spiritual home. The home that a child is born into this world just knowing, just believing but forgets the older they grow. And then it seems like we spend our entire adulthood trying to find the map. I think evil burnt the map, all the trail heads, and landmarks that would allow us a chance to stumble onto the right path.

      Perhaps, since being human is an extremely difficult and heartbreaking task, that is why we love the idea of vampires, werewolves, superheros, etc. Wouldn't it be easier to be a vampire than a human? Vampires are strong, nearly indestructible, live forever without the pain of growing old and aging and they can be darkly moody without being told to cheer up. In any story they never have to do menial tasks such as chores and cleaning, working nine to five for a few pints of blood nor do they have to make relationships work. A little nibble on the neck with their human girlfriend and breaking up is not so hard to do.

     Being a werewolf is easy. You just need a little doggie kibble, a buff chest, and a cage to lock yourself up during the full moon so you don't eat the neighbors. You get to be tough and howl at the moon without anyone complaining about your behavior and if they do call animal control on you, well than I guess you can eat them.

    Being human is the hardest thing each of us will ever do. We can't fly, we're entirely too breakable, we may or may not have a map home and even if we possess a book or an idea of how to reach our destination, we feel quite abandoned upon finding out that we have to find the way without any extra guidance other than having 'FAITH'

    And then to make matters quite a bit more difficult we don't even know if we made the choice to be human or if some deity kicked us in the butt and sent us complaining and fussing all the way down to Earth. Surprisingly, this question actually means quite a bit in the scheme of things. Think about it for a moment.

    Perhaps I've been reading too many philosophy books lately or this is just born from the internal frustration I feel at the world in turmoil or worry for the people I love struggling to find 'the answer' except they don't even know the question.

    Or maybe it's just I hate not knowing everything. It's that 'Curiosity killed the cat' thing. And being human, while a lot of things; good and bad;  is definitely not lacking in things that are 'unknown'- at least by us puny humans.
    In the meantime I will work on my FAITH, since somewhere between the universe and my Mom giving birth I lost my compass, map and instruction manual on how to succeed at being human.