10 Reasons Why Dating a Werewolf May Not Work for You

       In the movies, (i.e. Twilight) and on the television shows (i.e.Wizard of Waverly Place) the cool thing to do is to date a werewolf or a vampire. Apparently, dating a monster is hip, it's totally awesome and gives you a lot to Twitter or Facebook about. As if it wasn't hard enough for a teenage boy to get a date, now he loses points for being human.
     But although dating a hot werewolf, (we'll talk about vampires next time) may make you weak in the knees, prone to drooling every time he takes off his shirt, or warm under the collar, I think there might be a few relationship problems the experts haven't publicly discussed yet.

   1. He smells like wet dog. Seriously, this is not a turn on. If he starts sweating and proceeds to smell like a drenched mutt, I'm going to go get some fresh air. And forget about snuggling in his jacket. Gross.

   2. He sheds. Do I look like I want to vacuum after the boyfriend every time we make out on the couch? If we're going to date, then he needs to come with his own vacuum and the ability to use it.

   3. He drinks from the toilet. Do I have to say anything more?

   4. When you take him over to meet your parents, he sniffs them in places that makes a social meeting vastly uncomfortable. Also, fighting for the bone with the family dog is not earning him points with your Father.

    5. Every time you use the electric can opener he comes running, drooling and begging for some food.

    6. His favorite spot to be petted is behind the ears or on his belly. In fact, when you ask him if he wants a massage, he flops on the floor, belly up, waiting for his belly rub.

    7. When you ask him what he wants to do for the evening, he always wants to go for a walk...in the park...and play Frisbee. Which wouldn't be so bad if he didn't stop to sniff every tree, growl at every dog, and catch the Frisbee with his mouth.

    8. The neighborhood cats go missing but he doesn't know anything about it.

    9. When you go for rides in the car, you have to drive. He's too busy sticking his head out the window and letting the wind blow on him.

    10. He will do anything for a Scooby snack.


      Werewolves might be strong, hot and able to defend you from angry vampires. And it might even be possible to put up with the above problems, but I think it would take a special sort of woman to stay with a guy that is constantly chewing up her shoes.