The End of the World by Zombie Apocalypse

I apologize for my tardiness in posting, I've been busy preparing for a possible zombie apocalypse and the end of the world in the same week. On top of being a Mom and writer, that makes for a very busy schedule. Do I wash the kids' clothes and try to get their grass stains out? Or do I let them watch Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland so they know how to survive brain eating, slowing moving, groaning pale people? I did not see any articles about 'How to Prepare Your Children for Zombie Attacks' in the parenting magazines. What's a Mom suppose to do?

And then there was the end of the world that was supposed to be last Saturday. Zombies and the end of the world. Two completely different scenarios to think about, which makes preparing difficult. If you have to prepare for a zombie apocalypse then you have to think about food, water, a brain protector because brains are zombie's favorite food, and perhaps where to find a huge get away truck, flame thrower and other zombie killing devices.
      If you're preparing for the end of the world you have to question yourself. Do you go and party for a week, give away all your money, and do things you normally wouldn't? Or do you act extra good, racking up brownie points to hand to Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Do you go out and help as many elderly women cross the street as possible, looking up into the sky and yelling that you just scored another point after each time?
     It's a tough question. Some people are going to forget all the rules and try to convince other people to join them. And other people are going to be really, really good in the hopes that they can avoid the other place opposite of heaven.
      Just so you know, I did neither. I don't have any life savings to give away to people predicting the end of the world and  who are already worth millions of dollars (which brings up an interesting question, if you're expecting to descend to heaven, why do you have people donate millions to you? Does Saint Peter take American dollars?) and I'm not going to use such a lame excuse as the end of the world to do something I wouldn't normally do. As far as counting my brownie points to enter the pearly gates, I'm pretty sure it doesn't quite work that way. But I do subscribe to the golden rule, including having forgiveness even when it's difficult to not be spitting angry at the woman who tried to run me over with her shopping cart at Safeway yesterday. (Yes, literally. She thought I was going to steal her spot in the check out line when all I was doing was trying to negotiate the tight spaces in the crowded aisle to reach the other side of the store, so she used her cart to block me, including pushing me out of the way with it when I tried to walk pass her. I was so mad. Still am, apparently.)

      To catch anyone up on the news and so you know what I'm talking about;  the Center for Disease Control's blog on May 16th (http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp) wrote an entry about surviving a zombie apocalypse. Throughout the vast expanse of cyberspace it generated quite a buzz. Some people calling it a tongue in cheek article to grab the attention of people who wouldn't normally think about preparing for a 'regular and boring' disaster.  To another group of people thinking that the CDC is bluntly warning us about upcoming zombie attacks. (Of course, have you ever been to Wal-Mart or watched a teenage clerk try to count change nowadays? I think we've already had the zombie apocalypse.)
      Either way, on top of everything else I had to do this week, I needed to prepare for zombies. The CDC mentions the basics; water, food, medicines, copies of important papers and planning your escape. They left out the pick up truck, flame thrower, and shot gun. They also said that they would send in the scientists to solve the mysterious outbreak and cure the zombies. I don't recall a movie where the zombies are ever cured and usually the scientists are tasty morsels. So really, I would hate to be a low level CDC scientist during a zombie apocalypse. The odds aren't good. But if they want to be hopeful then good luck.

      The second item was Harold Camping predicting the end of the world last Saturday, even though in the nineties he had predicted the end of the world and obviously his prediction was incorrect. Millions, I mean millions of people around the world believed him. Donating their life savings to either his church or to charity, because they weren't planning on being here this week. Well, guess what. Saturday came and went and here I am blogging. Word of advice, no one can predict the end of the entire world. And if they want all your money to believe in them...run. The world is changing and things do seem chaotic but it's a shame that someone can scam so many people out of their money and their faith.

       I had hoped this week would be quieter but stormy weather brings horrible winds. I'm afraid for people in the mid-west that they have real problems to worry about. They don't need zombies and scam artists to destroy their world. I couldn't even imagine how you start repairing a town  (this week, Joplin, MO) that is almost completely damaged. How do you repair so many destroyed businesses, schools, houses, and the hospital? The footage just makes me cry.
       Life is fragile and precious. And being the idealistic person I am I would hope we never have a zombie apocalypse, I would wish that we wouldn't have scam artists anymore, and I pray that people find their hope again, even if it's buried underneath the rubble which used to be their lives.
      In the meantime I just read that Mr. Camping has a new prediction; the end of the world will be on October 21st. Which only gives me less than six months to start racking up my brownie points.

Lost without my GPS

       I don't actually have a GPS system except perhaps in my iPod, which doesn't access the Internet unless I can tap into a Wireless network. Do iPods have GPS? I've never checked and I've rarely used GPS. I'm a bit old fashioned, I have this thing called a map.
      Funny things about maps though. They can be difficult to fold, and they just show you the road you're on, they don't tell you anything about the journey in between your point of beginning and the little dot at the end of your travels. Travel guides are much the same. They might explain about the places to eat and the amusements to be had but they can't warn you of unseen potholes or unmarked cliffs.
      One time we drove to Texas from three states away. Within that first day we reached Texas without a hitch, moods were high spirited, the call of adventure was still thick in our blood and the map was easy to read. When we reached Texas I forgot that the scale on the map had changed from the previous states because of the sheer enormity of the state of Texas. I failed completely at the task of navigator when I thought half a day would be enough time to drive across the wide open spaces of Texas. This fact became clear three hours later when we hadn't even reached Abilene. Damn, but Texas is a huge state. That trip also didn't go smoothly and on the way home we were given a speeding ticket as a thanks for our visit. Yes, we were speeding, but the Texans were passing us. I guess the slow guy is always the one who is caught, or at least the guy with the out of state plates.
       I think life comes with a little bit of a map, at least it seems that way when you're kid. You grow up, go to college, fall in love, get married, have children, experience mid life crisis, get old, tell every kid you know how much old age sucks, and then you die.
       I didn't like that map. I happen to enjoy life, as hard and difficult and boring it can get sometimes. I enjoy the sunrise and the chirps of birds in the morning, I find squirrels immensely funny with their antics and the fact that I'm always finding nuts buried in the garden, I find contentment with being a Mom and Aunt and there's always sex and chocolate to round out the list.
       I also hate the fact that everyone has an entirely different map. Not only does that mean that you can experience hardships on your travels that no one else can help you with. But you also don't always travel with the one you're with, no matter how much you want to.
      Most of the time things go smoothly or at least you know what road you're on. But what happens when you fall in a pothole and it's so deep you don't know if you can crawl out of it? What happens when life hits you so hard that you're blown off the road and the map doesn't show you where the next service station is? Is this a case of having faith, which we know from my last entry I've been having a difficult time keeping track of? I'm not sure. And then I realize that I really don't have any answers to anything, anymore and I probably didn't to begin with but I was clutching the map so tightly in my hands that I didn't know that. And then I spread the map out and suddenly I realize the road I'm on hasn't been finished. In fact it simply ends on the map but I know there must be a destination because I'm still breathing, so I'm still on a road, even if it's unpaved, out in the middle of no where and I can hear the wolves howling.
      I've pulled myself out of plenty of potholes during my life, scraped, bruised and bleeding. And I'm the first to admit that a couple of those potholes I'm sure I dug myself. I think those times usually fall under the regrets category.
     But I'm still trying to figure out if this current pothole is something I helped create or if its just so deep because the hurts that effect us the most are the ones we receive from those closest to us. I wish I had a flashlight, it would help shed light on the situation. Lame pun intended.
      Since I would like to keep things positive because I really do feel like there is enough strife and misery in the world without me adding to it, I'm going to share a few tips on what has helped me in times before.
     
      Tip One: Don't say something just to hurt back. I fully believe in honesty and speaking up in a disagreement, but you will regret hitting below the belt, especially with a loved one. It's so basic, but so easy to forget when we're feeling hurt, attacked (emotionally) and vulnerable. It doesn't solve anything and later the pain we cause comes back in a ripple effect. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me, is simply a shield we put up to try to convince ourselves that we can't be broken with mere words.

     Tip Two: Start exercising and eating right. When we are healthier physically we can be stronger emotionally. Climbing out of a pothole is hard work and takes all the energy we can muster, feeling sickly isn't going to help.

      Tip Three: Do something nice for someone else. Going shopping, eating chocolate or drinking will only temporary ease the pain but it will not fix anything. In fact, it could make it worse if we're spending money we don't have, putting on pounds we don't need or killing our livers. But doing something nice for someone else will remind us of the good in life, it will make us feel needed again and give us purpose. My Aunt Dottie is still going strong into her eighties. Her secret, simply taking care of others because if she stopped and gave into self pity than that would be it.

      Tip Four: Give up the news. It's important to stay informed and we should all take an active role in our communities in some way but I'm beginning to think the nightly news is simply fear mongering and not at all proactive. It rarely inspires us to contribute to society and in fact makes us wants to crawl under the covers and hide away. I also get tired of hearing of some great, new breakthrough and then later find out it was funded by a company selling a product.

       Tip Five: Remember, things are what we make of them. My mother in law had to host a dinner this week for family members from out of town for an internment for an elderly relative. She spent months fixing up the house for this few hours of hosting, which I can totally relate to, but her house already looks awesome without the work. (I always receive her furniture when she buys new stuff. I love it.) Anyway, she bought a new stove for this get together. It arrived and then it was quickly discovered that the clerk had ordered the wrong stove. There was no time to get the correct stove in. She was a bit upset and I was trying to reassure her that everything looked awesome and no one would notice.
      She sighs, clearly struggling to be okay with the situation. "I guess it's not like anyone died or anything."
      Ahh, yeah. Someone did die, that's why everyone was gathering at her home. I frowned, wondering what to say. I suppose though, that it's a common thought we often tell ourselves when something bad happens, 'it's not like someone died.'
     It's cliche but it's true. Today, while I was writing this, a car accident happened right in front of my house. Luckily, the weather was crappy and the kids were in the house and not outside. There weren't any kids bicycling or skateboarding in the street, thank goodness for rainy days. A jeep driven by a teenage boy with a female teenage passenger were driving way over the speed limit and crashed into my neighbor's parked truck. The impact was immense and the tire on the pickup truck blew in a puff of exploded air and the truck moved four or five feet down the curb. The jeep occupants hit the windshield and had facial injuries but thank God, they didn't have life threatening injuries. It could have been worse.


       I know most people around me have been struggling with some inner strife of various sorts. I start to wonder if the alignment of the planets is affecting our emotions. I know, sounds completely crazy but the moon does affect the tides of the ocean, why couldn't external sources make us want to howl at the moon, or at least take a long vacation where there is sun and warm sand and no spouses or children.
      Since a vacation is not an option right now, I'm going to unfold my map and take another peek at it. Perhaps it will have updated since earlier and I'll have some idea of the road I travel. In the meantime, I will be grateful for family, great friends, wonderful neighbors and the promise of summer.

Faith and Losing my Keys

         Keys are easy to lose. They never used to be, back when the only thing I had to do after a busy day of working or going to school was feed myself, fill Buddy's food dish and do whatever I wanted. Then I had children and those children grew older and decided to have a busier social life than I do. So after a busy day we have an even busier evening of running around to dance lessons, PTA meetings, and trying to have dinner together at that table. 

       Now, it's easy to lose my keys. I leave them on the piano, on the table, in my coat pocket, on the counter and hero hottie's favorite (this is sarcasm) in the front door. Yes, they're easy to find in the front door on the way out to the car, just not the safest location for obvious reasons. 

       I should have a key hook to hang them on but all my key hooks are full of a variety of keys I either need, I might need, or I'm not sure if I should throw them out because what if I do need them? Is that clutter or just fear? I have a padlock on one of my kitchen cabinets that has been there for a few years because I lost the key and my oldest child when she was young thought she could lock me out of the drawer by attaching it to the handle. Much to her surprise it didn't function the way she thought and I haven't removed it since the cabinet is so old and I'm afraid the drawer handle won't go back on.

       The only other thing I lose with any sort of regularity is my faith. And I suppose misplacing keys and losing faith are very similar. I don't lose them all the time and I find them in odd places when I do. 

       When I was younger and the world was about me, (I'm not being arrogant but how many teenagers think beyond just their dreams and goals) then faith was easy to find. Yes, bad things happened, especially long ago in that thing called history but that was so yesterday. When you're busying picking colleges, and driving around with friends, and having fun, faith is easy. 

      And I suppose that's a very common theme with people in religion circles, faith is easy when every thing is all right with the world, it's a challenge to find when you really need it. I don't subscribe to any particular denomination, so don't worry, this blog entry isn't about buying the correct ticket to get to heaven. (I think every religion has their own ticket booth) This blog is simply about having faith, losing faith, struggling with it and finding it. 

      I think most people wrestle with this one, even if they never lose or misplace anything else in their lives. Even if they insist that we simply vanish into nothingness when we die, they still had faith, they just lost it and they're ignoring that one missing thing from their life. I know many people that struggle to find it, they sit in church pews every Sunday and try to find it in the words of the man preaching up front. But faith isn't something that can just be passed around. 

     I have friends that try new churches every few weeks because they haven't found it yet. But faith isn't something that can be found in a building. You may find it while in a building, but just being in a building, no matter how holy, is not going to give it to you. 

      I have relatives that base their faith on allowing one head religious guy be their guide and when they find out the horrors that have occurred in that religion they rather ignore it than have to find their own source of faith. 

     Sometimes I find faith, usually right in front of my face when I witness a miracle. Which I believe is most of life, even if I don't understand it. But when horrible things happen, when evil is allowed to win the battle, I lose it, just as easy as I misplace my keys. So very close but I can't find them because I can't see where I left them. 

     I won't be able to end this piece by saying I finally found my faith hiding underneath some fake Easter grass and I never lost it again. That would be a lie. Last Sunday I had it, briefly, just because I realized other people struggle with the same issues as I do and then the next day I was once again filled with fear for the world and my children's future and I lost it again. 

    I read Guidepost magazine and Chicken Soup for the Soul books because they feature people who found their faith and their stories end well. I have to admire people that find something I'm constantly seeking. Even though I have a sneaking suspicion that after 'the end' they might lose their faith again and have to send out a search and rescue crew to find it.

    I know some religion figures would chastise me for being weak of faith and trust. Perhaps I am. I have high ideals for the way I feel people should act and treat each other and it's a real disappointment that it's not a better world for my children to become adults in. I get frustrated with the mean and boorish attitudes of other people. I know I'm not perfect and I make mistakes like crazy. It is one thing I'm good at. :) 

     But I try.  

     I have to say that if we've all lost the same thing, you think by now we would have found all its hiding places. But like my keys I'm continually surprised by how often I can lose it and what weird places I will find it again. Sigh. I need something to store my faith in, and I probably do, it's just cluttered with all my fears. Just like key hooks that are too full for the important set of keys. 

    

     I hope everyone has a safe and happy Easter.