All Tickets Have Been Sold for The Sanity Boat

     Hero hottie is a great guy. He's helpful, playful, and always tries to do the right thing.
     What he isn't though is...patient. And maybe it's a guy thing, since males always seem to be loud and active and building things or tearing things down. Or perhaps it's a parent thing, we get so busy we can't seem to slow down.
      And maybe that's just the way he is. But he tries to hide it, contain it, not let it control him.
     'Tries' is the word here.
    
      Children though...they know and they're not afraid to tell you like it is.
      
      So one day, about a year and a half ago, hero hottie, CT and I were at Borders. (Ahh, I miss that bookstore.) We were browsing and lingering and not in any great hurry for once. But it didn't matter, CT goes toddling over to her Uncle, with the most serious look on her face.
      "Here is your patience, Uncle." She pinches her fingers together like she's picking something up from the palm of her hand and carefully, as not to drop any, hands it to him.
     "What?" He asks, studying her tiny fingers.
     "I have some patience for you, Uncle. Here take it." And she tries to hand him the invisible patience that she held so delicately in her hand.
     He laughs hard and lets her put the 'patience' in his hand. She grins at him, clearly satisfied that he has some patience now.
    Lesson learned.

  

   The other day I was busy. So busy that not even coffee could help, nor chocolate.

   Perhaps a personal assistant. I would have taken one of those.

   I was watching four children all from the ages of 10 years down to a year. While I was trying to feed them a snack, keep them entertained and keep Bug from eating every thing off the ground, because she truly hopes it's a bug and she will try to eat it...I was also taking photos of my sister's Christmas crafts. (You can see a few pics below.)
    What this crazy? Yes. I had a long sheet of paper hanging from my entertainment center to a tray. I had my professional camera perched on top of  my tripod in the middle of the living room which is normally alright and safe for my equipment, except when you have Abu and CT trying to sneak under the legs of the tripod to play.
      I had fake garland strung from my curtain rods and tied around a chair which sat on top of my table. My sister was helping with the kids but it was still a bit chaotic.
     The children didn't mind at all. They were loving it. There were cool houses to play with and decorations to touch and just so much to help with. I was wrong, I have four personal assistants, I don't need another one. :)
     Stop shaking your head at me and muttering under your breath about crazy women trying to accomplish too much. I was using natural lighting for the photos. And no matter how much I pleaded with the sun to stay up a few extra hours in the evening so I could take the photos after the children weren't around, it strangely wasn't listening to me. Go figure. (grin)
      It was all going pretty well until I couldn't find something. Then frustration started to kick in.
      "What are you looking for Aunt Christy?" CT asks.
      "My sanity."
      She jumps onto the couch and looks at everyone in the room. "Everyone get on the sanity boat. Aunt Christy come ride on the sanity boat."
     If only there was a boat for that.
    But then I'm sure all the tickets would be sold out.

    Later I'm talking with Grandma about our busy afternoon.
    CT joins the conversation. "Grandma. Aunt Christy didn't find her sanity. She was looking for it but she couldn't find it." Then she sighs and shakes her head slowly as if to say poor Aunt Christy.
    
    I guess the boat left without me this week.  :)



Here are some pics....

                 I think the photos turned out well considering I didn't have any professional lighting and I had four personal assistants. :)

 The children kept pulling the top off this one because of all the spooky decorations inside.

I think they wanted to eat the fake candy canes. Luckily they weren't real otherwise they would have disappeared. :)

Avoiding Stress or Otherwise Slaying Monsters

       Stress. Like a monster that nibbles your toes from underneath your bed. You can't quite see it but you know it's there because you end up as a bloody mess.
      Abu was upset with Bean the other week because older sister was spending the night away from home and Abu would be sleeping in their shared bedroom by herself.
       "Bean can't leave. Who will get rid of the monsters while I sleep?" She asks, while casting anxious glances towards the bedroom and all the imaginary monsters that lived there. They're relativity quiet during the day because I don't hear them while the girls are at school. But apparently they are quite furious during the night. I also didn't know that they could only be slayed by older sisters.
       "It will be fine. I'll take care of them before you go to sleep." I reassured her. We had to make sure the closet doors were shut, that the curtains were pulled tightly and that her favorite stuffed animal was firmly tucked under her arms.
       And then it still took a while for her drift off to sleep. The monsters didn't even nibble on her toes.
 
       I've been so busy this week trying to maintain sanity that I haven't even had a chance to write about stress, just experience it. Would that be an Alanis Morissette song? Or an annoying but catchy mix of David Bowie and Queen? It might just be too many Disney movie soundtracks or the Backyardigans. If you're missing my meaning, then think about the song that represents your own soundtrack right now. Is it a little wild or a bit sweet? Mine is fast, frantic and spiritual. Of course, I'm not sure if you can count Joan Osborne's song, 'One of Us', as spiritual, unless your Catholic. Which I'm not. But I do like to play it when I'm questioning the entire universe and pondering if God was a slob would it change anything. Mostly right now the soundtrack to my life is more like Lifehouse's song, 'Simon.'

      But I digress: Let's get back to stress. We all know what it is. It's like our childhood monsters that would inhabit the closets or under the bed or like Bean's, the bathtub drain. It's our troubles, our fears, the things we can't control.
      I know one of my major stresses this week is Abu's need for braces. Our dental insurance doesn't cover it and I found out how the orthodontist can have such a fancy, high tech, and amenity filled office. Really, I don't need access to high speed Internet, fresh coffee, game stations, and reward incentives for showing up on time for my appointments. The fact that she is going to end up with a beautiful smile and an easier time chewing is reward enough for me. I don't begrudge anyone the chance to make a good living but the price for all the work is quite astounding. Worth it for Abu but another stress because it involves juggling a tight budget, a slim savings account and rising food prices to pay for thousands and thousands of dollars worth of dental work.

      The other stress of my week was very personal and quite the attack on my integrity and values. I wish I could say more but because my blog is highly public I have to carefully weigh my words. I have never understood people that write about their bosses, family, or classmates in brutally frank and emotionally driven drivel, and then lose their jobs, their relationships or their friends but don't comprehend how that could possibly happen. I also don't like to talk 'smack' about people, even people I didn't even really know a week ago. Yes, a week ago this person hardly knew my name and now they have totally made it their current mission to make my life miserable. I understand that this life is hard and our insecurities can tie us up, but please don't try to drag me down with you. If I were 'mature' I would write a song like Gwen Stefani's song 'Hollaback Girl' and deal with my stress with that way. (Sarcasm. This is sarcasm because her lyrics remind me of fifth grade girls.)
    As I hope I'm older than that, I will respond with quiet professionalism and knowing that I can wear hero hottie's listening skills out with voicing my frustrations.

   In the meantime here are my quick, (because I have four kids about to have a mutually agreed upon group melt down) ten easy tips for slaying monsters or otherwise getting rid of stress. (Maybe not all stress because unless the tooth fairy brings me money, I will still worry until Abu's teeth are straight. But at least I can get rid of the little stresses.)

    1. Start a blog. Just don't say anything you'll regret or else your stress will be worse.
    2. Shut the closet doors. For kids they like this so they can't see the monsters. For adults, it works so you can't see the mess begging for your attention. Out of sight, out of mind.
    3. Laugh. Find a reason and do it. There are plenty of studies to back up my recommendations but this is a blog not a news article so I don't have to show my resources. :)
   4. Take a bath. But send the kids away first. Perhaps not too far away but just long enough to reclaim a bit of peace. Also, take a bath after the water heater fills back up. Do you know how much it stinks to fill a bathtub full of water and find out you didn't wait long enough for hot water?
   5. Turn off the television. Happiness can not...no matter what anyone tells you...be found in whiter teeth, eating yogurt and discussing your digestive tract, or in that mysterious five minutes that can save you tons of money. 
   6. Annoy hero hottie. Whoops, sorry only I get to do that one. And I'm only saying that because he's being ornery and trying to put metal clips in my hair. Don't ask. He's just ornery, what can I say.
   7. Listen to music. But not 'Everyday is Exactly the Same' by Nine Inch Nails. This song may not help, somehow being reminded that no matter how often I do dishes, I will still have more tomorrow, doesn't improve the mood. Try Pink's 'Get the Party Started' or depending on your mood, 'Black Hole Sun' by Soundgarden.
    8. Go to bed early. Really it's not a crime to go to bed early when you're an adult. Seriously. Burning the candles at both ends was just a conspiracy by the candle makers to sell more candles.
    9. Take the children, the spouse, the dog, perhaps even the cat...to the park. The trees, the swings, the lack of walls and chores, can be so uplifting. Nature is good for you. Maybe not in the winter, but on the whole we're supposed to spend some time outside.
    10. Do something easy on your 'To Do' list, just so you can scratch it off. Sometimes I put stupid things on my list just so I can mark them off. It can be so satisfying.

     Ahh, now I can relax. I have finished my blog about stress and I can cross it off my list. Lets not analyze that too closely. I think there might be something wrong with being stressed out about completing a blog on the topic of easing stress...Naw, it's the American way.
      Next on the list...finishing my brownie and listening to 'Adding to the Noise' by Switchfoot.