"Mom, we had a talk at school today with our teacher." Bean said, an awkward mix of the little kid she still reminds me of sometimes and the young lady she was too quickly becoming. How could they grow up so fast? Wasn't it just yesterday that she was just a toddler and fixated on being 'Ella?
(Cinderella. It was her favorite princess. Her Halloween costume was 'Ella, her toys were all 'Ella and it was her most watched movie. It was cute and adorable. But I'm glad she has since learned to be way more independent than the Disney Cinderella character ever was. She's more like the Drew Barrymore's Cinderella character off of 'Ever After'. Sassy, independent, tries to do the right thing and doesn't let a boy give her flack.)
But back to our story...I could tell by the way she brought up the conversation that this wasn't a conversation on math problems or the upcoming testing. This was something else. Something that was making her giggly.
"What was the talk?" I sat down to listen to her.
She giggled. "She said that now we're fifth graders we have hormones developing. Hormones. Like we might be outside and playing and all a sudden start crying. Just start crying for no reason but then we might just start laughing like it's something funny."
"Oh, hormones. I know all about those." I hid a smile. I had tried to explain hormones to her. Pointing out her different mood swings as these hormones just seem to take over my normal kid, trying to help her understand her crazy, roller coasting body, but I usually was met with sullen silence or angry retorts. I was Mom, I didn't understand hormones.
"And boys. We might cry over boys. Because they don't like us. I'm not going to cry over a boy. I'll punch them first." Oh, if only you would never cry over a boy.
"Can you imagine, hiding behind the shed on the playground and just crying for no reason? And some of my friends are like that already. They cry all the time because some boy doesn't like them. We used to have fun on recess, not talk about boys the whole time."
"And you hate talking about boys and crushes." I smiled, because I knew she was starting to notice boys. Perhaps, and thankfully not as much, as the other girls. But boys used to have cooties and now they would make her giggle and blush.
"Mom, I don't have any crushes." But she's giggling because she would like one. I inwardly sigh, wondering if I could lock her in her room for the next seven or eight years. Would that be so wrong?
And then I start crying because she's growing up...and I'm pregnant...and I'm hormonal.
"Mom? Are you okay? You're crying again." She frowns, not sure what to do with this new Mom who seems to suddenly start crying all the time for no reason.
"Hormones." I say between sniffles, and watch her roll her eyes and then run outside to play, like a kid. She had obviously had enough talk about hormones and crying for no reason. Playing pretend with the younger kids seemed like a whole lot more fun than growing up right now.
Our poor household though. Not only was Bean hitting some preteen puberty stuff but I was pregnant and extremely hormonal. Do you know how emotionally chaotic it is around here lately with two females completely and totally crying at any moment for no reason?
That talk her teacher gave could have been for me.
Hormones:
1. You might start crying at any moment for no reason at all. Yes, that's me. I'm even crying over a Pampers diaper commercial. Seriously. It has newborn babies and newly made Moms on there and the softest, sweet music with sounds of heartbeats and it makes me bawl. For thirty seconds I'm tearing up watching a television commercial. What is wrong with me?
2. You might start laughing for no reason. I haven't started laughing for no reason but sometimes I'm in a wonderfully, silly mood for no reason at all. Yes, I'm always relieved when I can cross off things on my To Do list but really, I shouldn't be deliriously happy over it.
3. You might cry over boys. Yes, Hero Hottie has made me cry. Oh, not intentionally at all. But sometimes the wrong joke, something I would have laughed with him before, now has me in absolute tears. So I'm crying and he's bewildered, wondering why something he has said before is now met with huge tears.
Of course, he's been through two other pregnancies with me, he should know better than making jokes about how big I'm going to get. I can say something about how chubby I was when I was pregnant with Bean---he can't. Unfair I know, but I'm pregnant and I'm allowed.
So in our tiny house we have a tween and a pregnant woman. Some days we are clashing horribly and then both crying. And poor Hero Hottie, if it's not a pregnant wife being completely hormonal---it's Bean riding a roller coaster of mood swings. One second she reminds us of the little kid she was just a year ago and the next minute she's angry and crying.
He's surrounded by hormonal females and he doesn't even have a Man Cave to escape to. He's vastly outnumbered, the poor guy. I'm really hoping for a baby boy. Because between Bean and Abu and nieces, CT and Bug; we are surrounded by girls. A little boy would be awesome.
If not...that's okay too. She'll fit right in.
But we might just have to build Hero Hottie a Man Cave.
With a sign that says, "No girls allowed."
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