The past days I've been contemplating the stupid craziness part of life. It started as I stared at the pieces of toast I was preparing for Abu.
Here, I'm going to pause for a short lesson in history. Somewhere in Asia or so, around 12000- 17000 years ago, perhaps even longer, wheat was feeding people. It could be grown, harvested and stored as a reliable food source. It was wonderful and I'm sure a lot of women appreciated a little more growing and a lot less foraging. The grain was an important staple in the Bible and throughout history. To really understand the significance of wheat, go in your kitchen and try to find five items (that aren't a fruit or veggie) that don't contain wheat. It's in everything, from sauces and soups to candy and ice cream. This is in addition to the obvious suspects of bread, pasta, crackers, cookies, and cereal.
The toast I was peering at, as I sprinkled cinnamon on it was not made from wheat. It called gluten free and whereas it won't kill you and you can grow accustomed to the taste and texture, it's not really bread. Its more like a bread wanna be. But my children have gluten allergies and can not enjoy a staple that has been around since the dawning of civilization.
Hence, why I'm staring at this piece of toast and wondering why life is so ridiculous sometimes. The loaf of bread is over six dollars, which is even more expensive than a high quality loaf of wheat bread. The gluten free loaf is tiny, so it's contains less than half the slices that a 'regular' loaf of bread does and on top of that...Which maybe I shouldn't, but even I can't stand to eat it, I cut off the crust for Abu. If it was wheat bread, I would tell her to tough it out but I already feel like she's having to eat bread that is no where near the same level of 'breadness' that a wheat loaf is, so I cut off the hard, crouton like crust. Seriously, it's bread with a crouton layer.
Bean will only eat the sliced bread if I make French toast out of it. This is probably why her favorite foods are not mac and cheese or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but tacos with corn tortillas.
And if it's burnt toast, (ignore the little voice that says eat it anyway because ounce for ounce I swear it cost more than gold,) make a new piece. It's hard enough to enjoy food in our household when gluten is a vile enemy, but life is definitely too short to be munching on burnt toast.
Now, as if having to eat gluten free bread wasn't a sign that the world has gone crazy, the news is equally insane. I mean, you know the world is tilted or something when good Amish go bad. In Pennsylvania a group of Amish men, who had been kicked out, wanted revenge...or attention. They went back and committed great acts of violence against other Amish men. They cut off their beards. You know the world is going to hell when ex-Amish are cutting off other Amish guys beards. This is truly a sign of the times.
But jokes aside, a beard is very important to the Amish guys from a religious point of view and to have them hacked off, brings them humiliation and shame.
And regardless how one feels about beards and religion, it actually stinks because it is crime and doesn't solve any problems. It just makes more.
It just seems like everyone is feeling the stress and changing of our world.
And then lastly...crime in the United States is up. At least thievery is on the rise or at least thieves are getting more bold. This year thieves have targeted anything metal; AC units, manholes, copper wiring, and now...an entire bridge. Seriously. I can't make this up. And it was even Mark Twain who said, "Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."
In North Beaver Township, PA (have to start wondering about that state), thieves stole an entire bridge that was 50 feet long and 20 feet wide. The bridge was made out of corrugated steel and valued at $100,000. Wow! Do you know how much work it would take to steal the whole thing? And I can just imagine the look on the first person's face who went to cross it and the whole thing was missing. You might wonder about your sanity for a moment, because who steals a 50 foot bridge?
Truth might be stranger than fiction but I can definitely wait for the cable television movies on the 'Amish beard massacres' or 'Gone in One Night: the Story of a Bridge that Went Missing.'
So in this crazy world, who needs toast; gluten or not to be gluten; I'm thinking chocolate. And lots of it.
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