Remain Passionate and Change the World

    I'm a mutt. I'm the descendants of Germans and Prussians and the unknown. I have Southern blood running through my veins and the sweat of hard working farmers dripping from my brow.
    I am the daughter of artists and dreamers and adventurers.
  
   People braver than me.

   People that comprehend the comings and goings of this world far better than I do.

   I was raised poor. Renting poor. Working hard poor. But what my parents couldn't give me in money they gave in other things.
    Ideas, memories, dreams. Treasures of the heart.

    At times I was a pretty serious child. When I was in third grade I was in the newspaper for trying to teach people about the dangers dolphins faced from tuna nets.

   I was eight or nine. In between making posters about Boycotting Tuna and recycling and reading articles about elephant poachers in Africa...I would have sleep overs, and play Barbie and ride my bicycle.

  By middle school I was reading books upon books about how to save the world. I was still making posters and hanging them up in the school library. The local library.

   Protesting. Protesting. Protesting.

   Always demanding that systems could be ran better. That ideas could be bolder. That people could try harder.

   I was an idealistic teenager.

   Who turned into an idealistic adult and realized that this world is not made for the dreamer.
 
   The believer. The idealistic.

   Only the strong survive in this world. Or the greedy or the selfish. The takers. The dream breakers.

   BUT ALSO those strong in FAITH.

   In this last year I have learned many things.

   Friendship is a strong support system. That we were never meant to live without true friends or a sense of community. Of belonging.

   Change, real honest change,

                is possible with small- not ideas because those are easy- but  actions.


                 Big ideas can happen by faithfully putting small actions into place.

One has to remain passionate about dreams, ideas, and faith otherwise you go into this dark zone of drift where you allow despair and sadness to rule your life.

Faith and prayer are extremely important because we are spiritual beings.


LOVE holds this messy, chaotic life all together.

So this year I'm not making New Years Resolutions. Instead I'm going to focus on:

                   Big ideas can happen by faithfully putting small actions into place.

and 

 Remain Passionate and Change the World

   

Happy New Year. I pray for all my readers near and far and wish you a healthy, safe, and hope-FILLED 2014.

  

Hold On

             I hold my breath.The events in the world surround me. Worry me. I can't ignore them. So if you come to my blog for funny, I'm a little short on it today. Perhaps sarcasm. Hopefully a little faith.
             But funny- I can't do. Not today.

             Holding my Baby Blueberry. She is cuddly and snugly and is a busy little person. She is nearly a year now. Almost a birthday.
            It's such a milestone. It marks that transition between tiny infant to active kid. To talking and walking and already having her own opinions.

            She doesn't like cherry pie and she doesn't like mangoes. She loves puppies and horses. And just like most Moms I can tell you a hundred more things about her.

            I'm pretty sure Moms all over the world are pretty similar. We rock our babies at night and sing them lullabies. We coo at them. We teach them to write their names.
           And we try to keep them safe.

             I've sometimes pondered if the Moms of the world could get together, without the interference of governments, religion, media, big corporations, and societies- if we couldn't make a better world for our children.
            
              While our governments beat wildly on the war drums -

              While media talking heads - mere puppets- try to convince the people that bombs bring peace-
             
              While big corporations add chemicals to our food and tell us it good for our children-

              While religion tell me that I'm not getting into heaven without paying a proper amount of money-

                While society tries to tell me what to think and who to hate-

               I pray.

               I cling to what I know, in my heart, to be true. Faith. Grace. Hope.

              Not hijacked, political hope.

              Real HOPE. Fueled by LOVE.

              Perhaps I'm just having an inner hippie moment.

              Or perhaps I'm just a Mom who loves her children.

Letters Drawn in the Sand

   ONCE upon a time I didn't understand music. I heard it. The sounds would fill my ears and the beat would run through my veins. Clumsy and more prone to tripping over my feet than walking in grace, I would still dance.

Dance because angels sing. Because heaven rejoices with music.

We teach our BABIES simple songs because they delight in it. Our voices can be rough and scratchy and they will find grace. And dance. And delight. And smile.

Hero Hottie taught me art. He taught me to LISTEN. To dissect the lyrics. He taught me to CHALLENGE the words that filled my ears and DECIPHER their meanings.

Because how can you say what you STAND FOR if you haven't LISTENED to the WORDS?

All words have MEANINGS. Some more than one. Some words are like double edged swords, the wound goes deep.

Some words come with a smile. With a dance. With GRACE.

With TRUTH.

And some words linger in your babies' hearts, darkening the edges, destroying their sense of grace. Silencing their dance.

Abu has had to deal with words of that nature this year. Words that made fun of her brand new baby sister, words that made her doubt her sense of style, words that made her doubt her importance in the world. I have spent months BUILDING back up her confidence.

Bean has had to deal with words that she shouldn't had shared, because sometimes words are to be kept like TREASURES.  Words shared between friends where they are supposed to be kept safe and secure and nourished. She will be more careful in the future when given such PRECIOUS items.
She has had also had to deal with words that made her feel not good enough...no matter what she did. These words have caused her to be angry and now I have to find the words to help her deal with that pain without allowing the ANGRY words to eat her soul.



Words can FEED the soul. Nourish the SPIRIT.  I have discovered that this year by developing some AWESOME friendships.

They have shown me how words between friends can BLOSSOM in the soul like a flower bed gone wild with blooms and butterflies and JOY.
Now I can't imagine a world without the WORDS from my friends. 


If only we had a filter over our ears, so that we only heard the good stuff.  So that we never bring into our adulthood ideas caused by constant HATEFUL words. How my heart cries for a small child who feels like they are a horrible person because they weren't fed NOURISHING words.


So if I PRAY often for the RIGHT words, it's because I know what the wrong word will do. And since I never know for sure if I'm saying the right word to my children, to my spouse, to my family, it's a familiar prayer.

I pray because I understand the power of a NOURISHING word...

JOY. FAITH. GRACE. HOPE. LOVE.

To all my readers: I hope you hear the nourishing words you need today to feed your soul. And I hope you find the same treasured words to pass on...with joy, hope, and grace.

And maybe a good song with the right kind of words to sing along to.

Faith

   And then God made dog, so that us silly humans, who can't learn on our own, would know the true meaning of being faithful. 
  
    I have tried to write this blog four times now and finally have found the words to write about one of my most favorite words.
  
   Faith.
 
     Faith is the power to believe even when given no proof. For some people this comes easy. Abu has faith. She feels it; in her heart and soul. For Bean she has to struggle with it. She wants it to come easily. But she has to fight it. She has questions and doubts and a very analytical mind.
   I don't think there is anything wrong with struggling with our faith. I struggle with mine. I wonder why horrible things happen. Why terrible, tragic things are allowed to happen. My faith comes with a lot of Whys?

    I spent this entire weekend wondering why. I don't understand. Because you can give me answers of why someone did what they did but I still don't understand why it was allowed to happened. But it is the same questions I have when I study history. Why are men like Genghis Khan, Hitler, Stalin, etc. allowed to slaughter? Why was the Black Plague allowed to wipe out millions? Why?

   Why are bad things allowed to happen? I don't have the answers.

  Where is divine intervention when we need it?
   

   I once had a dream where I was reading a page in some huge book. I'm not sure what book I was reading but the words were  "have strength and faith to carry forth." The words were so powerful to me I wrote them down and put them on my fridge. And when I struggle with my faith...when I'm not sure why things happen the way they happen...when I have doubts that the light is stronger than the dark...I read those words and allow them to comfort me.
   Have strength and faith...It is not because I'm strong that I have faith.

    It is because I have faith that I can have strength. To carry forth. Despite my doubts, despite my questions. Knowing that LOVE and GRACE and HOPE are so much bigger than darkness.

Because for all my struggles and questions and doubts...I do believe in something greater than me.
   Something more powerful than all the evil in the world.


   I don't have any answers for anyone. I can just share my experiences with life. But I do know that LOVE and PRAYERS and SPREADING KINDNESS are the ways to help heal hearts. Broken and torn and worn. The divine is all around us. But we have to do our part.
    So say a prayer for someone. Send someone a card to brighten their day. Avoid critical words and replace with words of encouragement and joy. And if silence is needed, just fill with a hug of support.
   And enjoy life. Be grateful for every minute you have with family and friends.

   As a friend of mine has been teaching me...you can't live in fear.
   You have to live in love.

McDegrees...Can I Supersize It?

       If I was living in the UK I suppose I can make my Mum proud and earn a degree...from McDonald's. Yes, I'm seriously talking about that fast food joint that sells a ton of food to children because it comes with a toy. When I was a child I didn't want a Happy Meal because of the burger, it was the toy. Why couldn't all meals come with a toy?
       'Mom, I'll eat my mixed veggies if I can get a toy.'
       Yeah, that never worked and that's why mixed veggies (a horrible combo of peas, carrots, lima beans and corn) always ended up in weird and unusual places. Such as below the rim of my plate, in napkins and in the bottom of milk glasses. If the dog managed to hide under the kitchen table, he was rewarded for his cleverness with mixed veggies, not the chicken he was hoping. (Grin)
      I'm not a big fan of McDonald's. My children have food allergies and can not consume most of their products and after a while of cooking food from scratch because of the aforementioned food allergies, McDonald's food just doesn't taste that great.
     But the toys can still be pretty tempting, especially for adults...I mean children.

     Toys and food aside, who actually wants a business degree from McDonald's? Are there teenagers working at the drive thru and deciding to working at McDonald's forever? Do they want and dream about  obtaining a degree that I would doubt is transferable into other college programs? If I'm wrong, then someone correct me but colleges are ridiculously picky about accepting credits from other schools, do you think a private university is going to look at a business degree from McDonald's and put them right into the fast track of obtaining their MBA. Of course, with how horrible Europe's and America's financial situations are right now, perhaps those MBA's in charge of our countries and large companies do have degrees from McDonald's. On the other hand, as far as I understand from a financial point of view, McDonald's isn't doing too bad, so perhaps the MBA's should have obtained their business degrees from the fast food giant, rather than from books and professors teaching them that to pay your debt you just borrow more money. Mmmm, I tried that once, it didn't work out well.
       Still, I have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of my child growing up and deciding that she wants to work at McDonald's forever.
       I can hear the commercials now to convince parents of this opportunity. It would be like the armed forces commercials. (Disclaimer, I'm not making fun of the Armed Forces and our troops, just silly commercials.)

      'Mom, I thought long and hard about this and I really need you to understand.' Daughter says, while we're in the kitchen together. The music builds up, I have a look of doubt and worry on my face.
      'I want you to do what makes you happy Daughter, but are you sure this is what you want to do. This is a big decision and then I have to convince your Father.' I wring my hands together.
      "I want to be part of something bigger than me. I want to be part of something I can be proud of. I want you to be proud of me.' She is earnest, full of sincerity and obviously not a real teenager since she's not crying, yelling or slamming doors.
      I take a deep breath. 'I know. But are you sure you want to join...McDonald's?'
     Then the narrator comes on, convincing all parents that a degree from McDonald's in the best thing for their children and besides it comes with a Happy Meal.


       I had siblings that worked fast food, they left as soon as possible. The smell of stale fry oil that clings to everything; your clothes, your shoes, in your car; is not pleasant. The long hours, the cranky customers, the lazy workers, was never a career goal for them. So I supposed to believe that people are eager to obtain a business degree from a fast food company? Perhaps I'm wrong, a career at McDonald's might be a great opportunity in this poor economy and that's probably why the idea of a McDegree is bothering me. I could never see my free spirited children slaving away as a manager in a company that tries to convince everyone that it's a great and wonderful thing because they handed you a degree to do it.
      Call me hopeful, but as a mother I only want big and bright things for my children and working fast food, with or without a degree, isn't something that they will find happiness in.
      Even if it comes with a toy.