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   When Bean's English teacher tells her he considers me and Hero Hottie endearing- what I'm supposed to think? Is it because she wrote a letter to him last year about how we're just failed artists - who wanted to be scientists - who just ended up being overly tired and too broke working-class stiffs? Or is because she said we try and try and everything we do ends up failing?

    Is endearing another word for pitied?

    Or is it a sign of solidarity- from an English teacher to a writer - we who must have words in the way the lungs need oxygen? Does he recognize a shared love for words, for expression, for mastering the skill of trying? 

     I would like to think it's because we asked him about his pothos houseplant that he keeps at school. Actually the conversation started with Hero Hottie asking about the huge windows in his classroom. Because Hero Hottie is not going to ask you about the weather, or other topics that are generally considered 'small talk' - he asks big questions, curious questions, sometimes uncomfortable questions.

     And most of the time - people answer him. Because no one actually wants to talk about the weather all the time - we want to connect and be neighbors and be part of a community.

    We want to say things like, "I'm sorry your spouse died, even though I only know you from the times you would buy Girl Scouts cookies from Abu." Or "do you ever get lonely because you live by yourself ever since your fiance died and you never found love again?"

     So Hero Hottie asks the English teacher about his huge windows and this lead to the health and happiness of his pothos plant - which didn't do so good over the summer because it was moved to a location that was too sunny. The conversation continues from there and somehow we become endearing during this time. 

    Perhaps I should just assume he meant it caused him feelings of admiration or fondness. I can handle those reasons.

     Or perhaps he just liked the fact that we took the time to treat the teacher like a regular human being and asked him about his windows, and his classroom, and his plant.

    Either way - whenever Bean gets annoyed at me - because she's seventeen which means she's constantly annoyed at me - I will remind her that I'm actually endearing.